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Monday, January 10, 2011

Dangerous Daydreams

"We just met for coffee...it was no big deal."

"We just met for dinner...he was lonely."

"We just talked in his hotel room until the wee hours...I lost track of the time."

"I just had one drink...it wasn't even alcoholic.I don't recall what happened, or how I wound up there."

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Dangerously Daydreaming, letting your guard down, can lead to a real nightmare of a situation. Black. Asian. White. Hispanic.Short. Tall. Frumpy. Slender. But undoubtedly Female.
Whether you realize it or not, you may be courting disaster unwittingly, and in some cases, naively. As women, single, married, or engaged, we must be on guard on all fronts: The seemingly innocent flirtations, the co-worker who always wants your attention after hours, the coy glances, the small tokens of affection can add up to more than trouble. A wise woman sees destruction and avoids it, but a foolish woman rushes head-on into disaster (thanks Proverbs). Ladies (and Gents), it is important that you do what is necessary to not only protect yourself but your reputation as well. Here are some ways you can:

1) Make clear your position in your professional setting. Not everyone respects marriage vows, but when you make it clear that you do, it can head off an unwanted advance.

2) Make very clear your purpose. Some of our colleagues become dear friends. Some of them remain acquaintances. You can have a great working relationship or friendship without getting involved physically.

3) Don't send mixed signals. Let your yes, be yes, and your no be no. For the Gents, giving red roses to a "friend" does not spell platonic relationship. It may lead her to daydream of a relationship while you just wanted to boost her self-esteem. As evidenced in a recently popular movie, women are not the only one who can become vulnerable to harassment or obsession.

4)Know your boundaries, draw the line, and DON'T move it.
 Engaging in crude humor, offering what you have no intention of giving, and taking the bait to loosen your principles and relax your moral compass will send you spiraling into unknown territory.

5)Bring a witness. Or two. If you are in a situation where you feel uncomfortable yet you have to work alongside a colleague, there is nothing wrong with inviting another co-worker along. Why?
1) For safety 2) For accountability  
On almost every level of society, we have gotten away from checks and balances. We need others to pat us on the back and to hold us back at times, to be a voice of reason when we have gone too far.

I wasn't going to blog this until another time, but I felt compelled by God to post. As an overcomer of Date Rape in my teens, I have had the opportunity to share my story on a regular basis.  I can honestly say that had it not been for the voice of God, I would not have survived the situation (I will be writing a blog about this in the future). Some things I have learned from an awful experience. I encourage you as ladies and gentlemen to pay attention to the people in your life. Everyone is not there for the right reason or with the purest of intentions.Dreaming is great, but Discernment will keep your dreams from turning into Nightmares.


Are you lacking wisdom? Are you not a good judge of character? Then ask the one who knows the heart of every man to help you to discern good from evil: God. He will answer you.